CHAPTER IV: FIFTH MOTIF BY VERÔME

   In Miguel’s country people have two surnames, because the mother also brings her blood. Though it is true that the surnames of women are losing, but it is the custom in this country and I like to know it. A man that has always come his way without apparent disorientations, and who has always believed in freedom and beauty was born there one day. With him, the path of the last three has changed and it is true that the last four have chosen it.



 

─Excuse me, Protch, but I must go now. I sincerely hope that my way to tell you the story of my fellow mates is not tiring you. Tomorrow I would tell the stories of the fifth, the sixth and the seventh and probably up to day 16 you would not start to know mine.

─Nike, don't you have any fear. I would just like to see you tomorrow and meanwhile I will spend the afternoon and evening evoking what you've been telling me and recalling the shudder that it is to me to hear you talk of them all so fondly. And thus I will know you in chronological order. I know already that you are Mistress Oakes, Olivia, Lucy and Bruce, and I am beginning to see that now comes one such Miguel. Two are missing because I know that the eighth is a well-known man named Nike. I still fail to see you with them. But I'm dying of desire to know you in the story. And don’t worry about the neighbors. I want to see you every day, please, and hope you and I are starting to be good friends.

–Our friendship is building slowly, Protch, but it is true you have heard me with affection and respect, with curiosity about my way, but meanwhile, listening to the story of my first four fellow mates carefully. Don’t be afraid, Protch, I will return tomorrow. Wait for me at about 9.

   And the next morning I was there at that time. Protch kindly invited me to sit down every day on the couch, and brought me a coffee and a pack of cigarettes, to resume without hurry my story.


 

  Alfred and Laura McDawn were a couple comfortably off, living without any trouble on legal business, and once married they just wanted to have a child, and so was born Brenda McDawn, mistress and a great friend of Olivia’s, as you will remember. With her apparently they had enough, but three years later, they decided to have a second child, and fate made they were two twin brothers. Parents had strong religious roots, without fanaticism, and wanted their sons to be called Matthew and Mark. They distinguished them because Matthew, who was born first, had a stain in the shape of a strawberry in his right elbow.

   The two brothers, as often happens to many twins, lived similar avatars, got ill at the same time from the same ailments, practically matched at the same time with women of similar ages and very alike physically and when arriving to youth, they had the same vocation and studied journalism. They began to work the same day and soon began to cover news outside the country. And one day, they were both sent as correspondents to a country of the south, from where often came news of pre-war atmosphere. And the two brothers ended in Cádiz, which is said to be the oldest city of the west, where they were captivated by it, the light, the sea, its Puertas de Tierra...

   They sent very similar chronicles and even matched at the same time. But Mark met Consolación Tébar Villarino, from a very religious and noble family, and spent two years being an unmarried couple. Matthew met Sagrario Íscar García, also a journalist. They fell in love deeply and married, and in just one year they had their son Miguel. The twins were similar, but not always led similar paths. Sagrario was blonde; Consolación had brown hair. The former ended up in the republican area; the latter was soon on the fascist side. Sagrario and Matthew had a son and called him Miguel. Three years later Consolación and Mark had a daughter of whom I will talk about later.

   But a July 18 a war would start that would last three years. Cádiz was taken by General Varela and an August 7 it was bombed. It was a terrible night in which Sagrario and Matthew failed to sleep, worried about Miguel, but managed to survive. I won’t tell you much about this war, Protch, of which you can read in the newspapers, only and briefly about what affects the McDawn family. The fascists were winning and it is full of misery and terror. A year before the end of the war, Consolación and Mark were married and when May was turning into June, they had a daughter. It was a Sunday, may 29, and they decided that Miguel’s cousin would be called Brenda Dolores. Dark Sunday, a May similar to winter; grey, dark, clouds were blackish. Everybody breathed happily that sweet birth of Brenda Dolores. It was dawn and weather calmed down. And when they opened the windows without delay, dawn was a day of thanksgiving for the abundant tears of that maiden, mirrors of Venus and the first stars.

   Two months before the end of the war, Consolación and Sagrario, who couldn’t stand each other, had a childish dispute over some blankets, but were getting hot and the former boasted of how the country would change when they won the war, and would require everyone to be Catholic and decent. Sagrario was a devil when she was angered and started to say expletives to that rich girl who had never had to work. Their husbands intervened with the purpose of appeasing them, but to defend them, they ended up saying everything and got angry. Proud, they would not say they were sorry, and were years without speaking to each other. At the end the fascists won the war. Matthew was not from the country and a journalist was not necessarily a declared enemy of the regime, but for the losing side it was unsafe to remain there and hunger would vent its rage with the country. And with great pain in his heart he chose to exile and return to his homeland. His parents had already died and Matthew, with his wife and his son, went to live in the capital.

   Matthew inherited the house of his parents, and although Sagrario was always homesick for her country, the conditions were not to return. Perhaps if one day General Franco would die, returning would be possible. Meanwhile they visited the country sometimes, and little Miguel saw again the Cádiz where he was born, but angry with the family of his father’s brother, they used to come back soon.

    Miguel was always a bright student who grew up with clear libertarian ideas. He was getting used to thinking that he should try anything at least once, everything that did no harm to others, and grew up in an environment without fanaticism and revolutionary; Catholic, of course, you would almost say it was compulsory, as it was in his mother’s country, and there he was baptized. But he progressed in his childhood reading everything he could from the library of his deceased grandfather Alfred. He had no more novels to read and began to look at his old law books out of curiosity and for years he was a good reader.


 

─ "Forgive me my interrupting you. Other parts of his life are clearer for me, but was he a great reader?"

─ "He was and still is a good reader. In his adolescence he used to read everything, but in recent years he reads less and his partner surpasses him as a reader."

─ "But still he had no suspicion of what his heart was truly saying."

─ "Miguel always was a free spirit and was trying everything, but for many things he had to wait until 40".


 

    Of all of us, he was possibly the most brilliant student, but when he finished secondary education he still had no suspicion of what he wanted to do with his life. He only sought freedom, always looking at the skies where he could let his thoughts fly. And to think about heights gave him an idea: the air force. He could try it.

   In it he would be three years, and if it is true that in that time he didn’t find freedom, he did find the ability to tame his heart and to accustom it to live in harsh conditions. Soon he was promoted and eventually he became Lieutenant McDawn, teaching his recruits how to jump from a plane in flight, but at the same time hoping to never have to do it in days of war. There he shared command with his friends Ferdinand Aubrey and Morgan Fielding, friends who often spoke about their dream of creating one day a law firm, if previously they studied law, of course. He met a lot of people and began to flirt with some soldiers, because everything was allowed to him, and he wanted to learn anything. In short the army made him more disciplined, but also more rebellious, and he would have stayed all life there, but in a holiday he moved to Cádiz. He saw Brenda Dolores again, to whom he did speak from time to time, and his family was convincing him that the army was not good for him and he should try to study a degree, for he had ability.

   He then left the army and with a strict method already learned, he enrolled in law and was such a good student, strong-willed and disciplined, that it took him only six years to be a lawyer. At the University he would also meet his friends Ferdinand and Morgan, who also left the army for the law. Miguel still had part of the money from the inheritance of his grandfather Alfred and with Ferdinand and Morgan, both of Hazington, they set up a law firm in Longborough Street, in this city, for which Miguel came to this town and left the Capital, installed in a rental apartment in Longborough Street, called, and in this they have agreed in alphabetical order, Aubrey, Fielding & McDawn. Ferdinand Aubrey dealt mostly with matters of civil law. Morgan Fielding was the most serious of the three and took care of any shady business or hanks to untangle. Miguel had specialized in commercial law and among other companies, soon came to his hands the Thuban Star businesses, and although with those things Walter Hope dealt, he would probably find himself face to face sometimes with John Richmonds.

   They set up the firm in our year 13, and in our year 18, three things changed his will with greater or lesser strength. His aunt Brenda died and he was still trying to recover from that grief when, once reconciled the brothers, their parents returned definitely to Cádiz. He remained alone in the country and a day of July he saw Olivia Rivers entering, of whom his aunt Brenda had spoken so much, his office. And for the first time he felt a burning fire sinking into his flesh. While he spoke to her about the death of his aunt and knew the facts for which her daughter Lucy could be reported, facts for which at last he did not have to do anything, he was feeling pierced by the softened arrows that the woman, close to 40, shot him. That feeling could not be removed and for several years Olivia’s silhouette chased him as a ghost and he wondered many things about that woman. Ending the year 18, as if it had been a contagious disease, his aunt Consolación also died for something related to the stomach. Yes, he had to travel to Cádiz and console his cousin and uncle. Brenda Dolores was already a very pretty thirty-year-old woman, but Miguel was only thinking about Olivia. His cousin said to him that her mother had sweet parting words for him, for Matthew and even for Sagrario. That was the last time that Miguel went to Cádiz before the street, and upon returning to the country, more than ever, disquiet was devouring him increasingly. He was not happy with his life and at all times recalled the air of freedom that had brought him this beggar, Olivia Rivers.

   He could not stop remembering her and sooner or later he acknowledged he was in love with her without hesitation. Sitting in his office the thoughts sometimes escaped him and became pictures of the woman who so important had been for his aunt. Even his father spoke to him of her sometimes in his letters. He could afford a maid, and with that goal he went looking for her in the Basilica. She was with another woman at her side, but he addressed only her.

─ "Hello, Olivia, do you remember me?"

─ "Yes, you are Miguel McDawn, that could help me when my daughter was about to be reported. And Brenda’s nephew and Matthew’s son."

─ "I would like to invite you to a drink. Would this be possible?"

   She, who was in love with him also, accepted. She wanted to have a drink with him and spoke to Mistress Oakes, who remained in the Basilica without opposition, urging her to be alone with him, for she knew well the feelings of her girl.

   In a bar in Castle Road they sat as shy as two kids who have just met and do not know well how to speak to each other. He asked himself a whisky and for her he brought a soft drink.

─ "How was it with Miss Ackroyd at the end?" - started Miguel.

─ "Her bracelet eventually appeared, but the experience made me leave her. Now I only live on the street. I regret my daughter is still here, but she could find a job soon. And I suppose that Mistress Oakes, my fellow mate Bruce and I can perhaps one day leave the street."

─ "Something has told me my aunt about your story, but I'd like to hear it from your lips."

─ "It can take me an hour to tell."

─ "I am in no hurry, Olivia. And if you don’t finish it today, I can invite you more days."

    She also wanted to see him often, but it would not be correct to be invited every day. He said they could meet about once a month. It was then day 21 and they appointed for every 21 in the Basilica. Miguel then knew Olivia’s story first hand and at one point stopped her to ask.

─ "Then, you are legally Olivia Rivers?"

─ "I called myself by that name for many years, but it was not legal, of course. But when I divorced I recovered my maiden name. I am now officially Olivia Rivers, yes."

─ "If you want to work in my house, I could put you up there, you and your daughter."

    Olivia had then a strong temptation. But she managed to get away from it. She could not leave Mistress Oakes and Bruce, and it wouldn't be nice to work in the house of the man she loved. She suspected that he also loved her. But she knew how to be firm and say no.

   They saw each day 21 and Olivia told him also of Mistress Oakes, of whom she might be hours talking, and her fellow mate Bruce. She made the mistake of telling Miguel that Bruce surely loved her. She had been his first love and he felt jealous of that unknown Bruce.

   He spent five years working for Aubrey, Fielding & McDawn, but disenchantment was in his life. The legal profession had been his vocation, but now it seemed a fraud. It is true that he believed that all human beings deserve a fair trial, that was civilized and common sense, but it seemed increasingly that the only thing important for his fellows was to win, and he had defendants who he knew manifestly guilty, more than the devil himself, even defendants charged with serious offences such as murder, and if he could made them be acquitted he felt badly inevitably, and not satisfied and proud. But at the same time he lost lawsuits in which he knew that the defendant was clearly innocent; some of them very simple, shy, with a dishonest face, but clearly not guilty, who had to pay with jail their possible lack of resources.

   How to explain, Protch, what happened to Miguel? At the same time that all this was happening, he still saw Olivia. It was not only love; none of us went to the street only for love. It was the breeze of freedom that she brought him, sad perhaps, but firm. Every day he could bear his life less, and the decision which he took one day can be incomprehensible, he sometimes does not understand it if he speaks about it, but he is a happy man and doesn't regret what he did. We give the name greatness to his decision. The lack of faith in his work, his blessed freedom and wanting to live with his own laws. Also, why not say it? His desire to live with Olivia, as she lived, are sufficient to explain it. But one day in August, he came one evening after work and went to open his hand in the Church of St Mary. So it was for one week. Finally on day 21 he was again reunited with Olivia and saw her again. He was explaining what he had been doing all that week. He had not even gone to his flat in Longborough Street to sleep. He had found somewhere sheltered in the Umbra Terrae Boulevard. He woke up, returned to his apartment to shower and went to work again begging in the evenings, he was seeing he had much time to think and he ended up creating a philosophy. Live without doing harm to others, without defending he who does, without finding guilty those who had done nothing.

   That night Miguel met the entire group of Olivia. He didn't know what to think of Bruce, but the latter had realized what Miguel felt, and for a time he was jealous, although Miguel was more jealous. As everyone who knew her, he was immediately shaken by Mistress Oakes, who he told his life roughly, and believed that she appreciated it. But it was an impact for him to see Lucy, who he recalled at 18 and was now 23. In just five years, she had become a pretty woman, a slender swan, a clear spring. That night they invited him to spend it with them in Wrathfall Bridge and he went there. It was a delight to chat with free humans, but that summer night air was bringing him with strength another new shock. He stayed with them. He understood then that what he needed for his life, which he had always sought, was the hard but bohemian life that they had. And he definitely decided to stay. He spoke with his partners Ferdinand and Morgan after definitely selling his apartment. Ferdinand Aubrey reminded him that he was known as a lawyer of prestige, that the company would continue with the name Aubrey, Fielding & McDawn, and he was expected at any time to return, if he repented, and would be received with open arms.

   A week after having definitely gone to the street, he already admitted what in the last week looked certain: he was in love with Lucy. He did not dare to tell her anything, because watching Olivia he had regrets for how much he had loved her. He noticed she still loved him, and he couldn’t hurt her more. Besides Lucy, who surely had noticed his love, dodged any conversation in which Miguel spoke of tenderness or affection. And the days passed feeling badly for not being able to say anything to his first love, and not daring to speak with the second. Poor heart that loved two queens and had no throne because he failed to choose between the two!

   They were five, and every night skyline saw them light the same fire, before sleeping all on the same bridge, Miguel in the first eye, the westernmost, and the summer stars vying with the fire heating up their lives, in the same healthy competition, lustrous and opulent.